


Giving it All

by virdanfalls



Series: Trouble Will Find Me [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Implied drinking, M/M, Professor AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-12-16 10:34:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11826921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/virdanfalls/pseuds/virdanfalls
Summary: Sugawara was a focused college student, a man of reason pursuing his studies diligently.  Of course, his concentration would be broken by a journalism student that would never let him study alone.A short prequel to Oikawa and Sugawara's relationship in "Carry Me Home"





	Giving it All

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, this is a sidefic set in the same universe as [Carry Me Home](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11784549/chapters/26574207) (it's a slow burn with KuroTsuki as the main pairing). This fic takes place before chapter one of Carry Me Home. You can check it out if you want, or read this as a standalone fic! Hope you enjoy!

Sugawara Koushi was not easily impressed. He was a man of thought, reflection, and logic. He enjoyed employing the scientific method to understand how others perceived the world, and why society functioned the way it did. Sociology was his first and most important love - the profession that carved out a path for his life.

However, when his eyes landed on a figure with a knowing smile, his hair soft, curly, chocolate brown, Sugawara knew he’d run into an irrational occurrence - a crush.

Sugawara had experienced crushes before. He usually felt a rush of warmth near the other person, and he may blush when they say something cute. And yet, this crush was more intense than those of the past. When this man’s warm brown eyes met Sugawara, he felt a searing, almost painful mix of emotions. It was maddening.

Oikawa Tooru was a journalism and technical writing major, who happened to enjoy taking social sciences and statistics as his elective credits. Koushi ran into him in grad school way too often.

He didn’t view it as a bad thing, necessarily. It was just - the thought of dating in grad school, only to part ways because of career differences was impractical to Koushi. Why set your heart on a future that was meant to fail? Besides, his future was sociological study. Oikawa was incompatible to that lifestyle. Koushi had already come up with several reasons why their relationship would never work. 

For example, he wasn’t sure if Oikawa liked men. When he met him, he found out that he’d recently broken up with a girlfriend to pursue his degree. That only added to the evidence of the hypothesized outcome of a potential relationship with Oikawa. He similarly to Koushi, chose career first. Koushi was also unsure if he was interested in dating, fresh off of a break-up, and he was doubly unsure if Oikawa would date men. He knew that bisexuality was an option, but he decided not to think too deeply on it, lest he inspired some deluded hope in his chest. 

However, in the back of his mind, Koushi documented the lingering touches of their hands as they studied together. He recorded the deep brown of Oikawa’s intelligent eyes, how they matched his honey brown hair so well. He noticed the mole on the inside of Oikawa’s ear one day, while they chatted on their way to class. He noted Oikawa’s different types of laughter, how one rose in pitch while another danced lightly. His favorite was the laugh Oikawa let escape when he thought Koushi wasn’t paying attention, a light chuckle to himself over a spelling error Koushi had made. It was a laugh over an endearing quirk of his own, and Koushi noticed and understood, and it gave him slight hope. He pushed this information into a repressed and secluded corner of his mind, fully intending to never use it.

Koushi didn’t like how his emotions seemed to unravel any rational thought where Oikawa was involved. He didn’t like losing control, and yet, he found himself embracing it. One night, he and Oikawa were drinking to celebrate the end of finals. Suga wasn’t even that drunk, and he didn’t think Oikawa was either. They went home to Oikawa’s apartment, and chatted more. Suga leaned too close when he was discussing something insignificant, and Suga kept moving forward until his lips met Oikawa’s. It was a deep first kiss, desperate in emotion and full of words unspoken. Their lips didn’t leave each other until they found Oikawa’s bed. 

Sugawara graduated with his doctorate in sociology two weeks later, fully intending on teaching undergraduate and graduate students the same material he had suffered over himself as a student.

He perused universities meticulously and ended up deciding on the same one as his roommate, Daichi Sawamura. Daichi was also a social sciences professor, so that guaranteed him a friend at the office. Sugawara was excited to meet the rest of the staff. 

He and Daichi attended the same employee orientation. They were seated together and chatting when a familiar voice lilted in their direction. 

“Well, if it isn’t my two favorite science nerds ~”

Sugawara’s perfect solution - a divergence of paths towards different careers to allow his feelings to fade naturally and gradually - was shattered. 

Oikawa was regarding him with amusement and excitement. Sugawara doesn’t think he’ll ever forget that expression on Oikawa’s face, or how it flared a myriad of emotion within his own chest. 

At this point, Sugawara knew he was going to fall in love with Oikawa. His concern was on how long he could hold out, and discerning whether it was mutual.

It took two weeks from their first day of work for Oikawa to ask him out. It was the usual “grab drinks with me and chat” excuse, but this time, Oikawa spoke the words with a promise implied. That promise was fulfilled as Sugawara let him take him home one night, then two. They soon lost count as it became a near weekly occurrence. They ate lunch together, went out for drinks on Friday, and managed to fit in time to see each other on campus between lectures and meetings. Suga was utterly infatuated, and riding the wave of bliss for as long as he could manage.

However, Sugawara didn’t want to lie to himself. He wanted to create stability in his life with his relationships. He wanted a husband and children. That had been his hope, a dream along with his career, that he never had allowed himself to desire for too long. Hope led to anticipation and excitement, which had the potential to end in disappointment. Koushi was much too intelligent to set himself up for failure. He approached Oikawa about the topic cautiously.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Oikawa hated commitment. Koushi noticed it in his mutable interests, how he changed the way he took his coffee every week, and how he chose a different flavor of ice cream each time they treated themselves at the campus sundae shop. It was in little habits that Oikawa had manifested his deep fear of reliance, of dependence on stability. Sugawara pieced together his past with conversations over a period of months, adding up to repetitive story. Oikawa would love someone - a parent, a friend, a colleague - and they would leave, or he would have to leave for some other reason. As soon as he counted on something to stay, it dropped from his life, like a curse. Of course, it didn’t happen with every single person - but just enough for him to develop coping behaviors.

Suga didn’t push for a relationship, but Oikawa is as good at reading others as they come. He has a perceptive sense becoming of a journalism professor - the judgment to discern the whole story from a few words. Suga gave him very few words to work with for a long time. 

It was Oikawa who asked for a relationship, with words like “boyfriend” and “date”. They had been playing this game of a vague relationship for almost two years when he brought it up. Sugawara agreed on the condition that Oikawa speak up if he needed space or time to breathe. 

They were good at communication in those few months of starting an official, committed relationships. Suga helped Oikawa define boundaries, like public displays of affection, during and outside of work, along with shared duties. They began living together a few months after that.

It was when Sugawara and Oikawa were out on a walk one weekend, holding hands in the chilly spring morning, that the rhythm of their relationship changed. Oikawa noticed Sugawara looking at couple around their age, playing with their child at the nearby park. There was a wistful, almost sad glisten in his eye, as he thought to himself that he may never have that. Oikawa was a selfish person most of the time. He knew that he would make a terrible parent, and had never wanted kids. Even after seeing Sugawara silently resigning himself to a future without his dream, Oikawa could not bring himself to want children. Instead, he decided he would at least allow Sugawara the commitment of a stable and legally binding partnership. He could at least offer that much to his beautiful and kind partner.

Oikawa proposed a week later. He had taken Sugawara to a fancy dinner, bought him a bottle of expensive wine, and then took him for a walk by the pier. They lived near a harbor, and Oikawa made sure that when he knelt before Suga with a ring, it was by a picturesque body of water. He wanted the memory to be as beautiful as the love between him and Koushi felt.

It was a beautiful memory. Sugawara was genuinely surprised. He cried softly as he accepted, and pulled Tooru into a tight embrace.

They planned the wedding within less than two months. Oikawa had decided on a whim, and the consequence was a rushed job on design and organization. Suga left most of the general planning - like cake flavor, decoration, color theme, music, and the invitation list - to Tooru. He knew that Tooru enjoyed that kind of romantic idea behind weddings - the beauty in beautiful designs and cakes, the atmosphere of the right song for their first dance. Suga did more of the logistics, like setting the budget, booking the venue that Oikawa had picked out, and filling out the paperwork for civil partnership.

Suga chose some of his work colleagues as his best men (and woman) at the wedding - Daichi, Asahi, Nishinoya, and Kiyoko. Oikawa chose high school and college friends - Hanamaki, Matsukawa, Iwaizumi, and Kyotani. The colors were blue and white. Oikawa chose them because, to him, they represented a new beginning. 

Their first dance was to Can’t Help Falling in Love (With You) by the Fleet Foxes. Suga wasn’t sure he ever smiled so wide, as he and Oikawa lightly joked about the entire room watching them. Suga knew that Oikawa both loved and hated the attention, to which Oikawa replied that Sugawara was more eye-catching by far. This had made Suga blush and then chide Oikawa for making him feel embarrassed at his own wedding. 

Suga was so in love with him that night. He wished he could keep hold of that feeling forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Kudos and comments are appreciated as well!


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